What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Yes sir it is.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Sure no problem officer.

Why do heterosexual men like anal sex with women? I think it's because they secretly want to have anal sex with a man? What do you think?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

{RING} {RING}

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

What are the pros and cons of arranged marriages?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Why did my ex replace me so fast?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

What should I do to stop being angered easily?

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

HELLO

The Labour Party wants to put the Winter fuel allowance and the £800,000 of gifts received by ministers behind us. Is this a real option for the people who will suffer as our new masters unapologeticly feast on freebies?

After a few moments he returns.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

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